Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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