I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
please come you make the beer taste better
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
