I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
