Everything about him screamed your future.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
