So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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