I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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