i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
