my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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