Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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