This girl is more easily done than said...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
