She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
