So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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