he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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