I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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