We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
