I wish I only lived at night.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
