My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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