My balls are so social today.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
