He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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