Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
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nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
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I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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