I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
