how can u be prego again
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
