Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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