LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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