dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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