Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
