I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
