I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
