nut hugger
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
