Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think people are normalizing furries
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
