You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
