i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
