Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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