When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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