when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
