how can u be prego again
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
