You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
