No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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