"it" just moved
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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