he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
