If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
