How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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