i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
