I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sober January is a disaster.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
