i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
