Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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