I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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