he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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