at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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