so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
