We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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