That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
