I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
