No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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