How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
