he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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