i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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