Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
