I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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