laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
