Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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