office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
