There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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