woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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