so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
