I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
