What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
