hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
